The Many Strings That Led to the Same Place
A brother in my community, and faithful Bible teacher, recently described how there are many strings that lead us to the truth within the Scriptures. One person may pull on this string and another that one, but they’ll both — through honest and diligent study — end up at the same place. Today I want to endeavor to explain the many strings I pulled on and which led me me to leave Christianity for a more Biblical pursuit of my faith in Yeshua Messiah (Jesus Christ).
My Faith Background
When I was 8 years old, my aunt, my mom’s sister, passed away unexpectedly in a motorcycle accident. We lived in Nevada and my aunt in Arkansas, and when my mom returned from the funeral, she took me and my siblings church for the first time. It was a little pentecostal church just a couple blocks from us. We instantly fell in love and began attending weekly. Soon after I gave my heart to Jesus for the first time. I grew up in that church, full of zeal, loved to serve, yet struggled with all kinds of sin.
Sabbath
When I was 21 years old I moved to Minnesota to attend a ministry training school. During our first weeks there, a professor encouraged the new freshmen class to “take a sabbath”. This was the first time I had ever considered that Christians could participate in Sabbath. I knew about the Sabbath from growing up in church, but never really thought that it was something I could (or should) do. His advice to us students was to have a day where we didn’t do any homework. I liked the idea and I began to strive to make it a habit. In those first years, I wasn’t super committed to it. If I was behind on homework, I wouldn’t take a day off.
I didn’t get serious about Sabbath until it became my lifeline in my third year of school. In 2018 I moved overseas to Southeast Asia for a 16-month internship. By the time I got there though, I was completely burnt out. I was so done with school, overwhelmed by language learning, and overstimulated by all the new happenings around me.
During a conversation with one of my leaders, they asked me if I was taking a Sabbath. I wasn’t because I always had something that had to be done and I just didn’t have the time. They challenged me, saying I have the wrong mindset. “You gotta stop anyways. You don’t earn sabbath by finishing your to-do list, you stop, trust God and rest.” I took this to heart and began to take a Sabbath regularly. Some seasons on Saturday and others on Sunday.
Then sometime in February or March of 2024, I watched a video from YouTuber Milena Ciciotti, where she describes her family’s Friday evening Sabbath ritual. It was beautiful, full of meaning, doable, and I wanted it. I watched that video on a Thursday and prepared my first Shabbat dinner the next day. I invited some of my family members over saying, “I’m hosting Sabbath dinner every Friday for the rest of my life.” From then on we, mostly my Mom and I, have been been entering the Sabbath, sharing a meal, and spending time in The Scriptures on Friday evenings at sunset.
Biblical Studies
In the fall of 2023, I began to read the Old Testament. I had read the Pentateuch (Torah, Books of Moses, or the first five books of the Bible) a few times before so I began in Joshua this time around. I loved it. It was during these months that I had the realization that all of this was real history. I knew that, but as I read this time around, I KNEW it. I poured over the maps and had a great time. Something happened in my spirit, and I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but as I read I just felt energized and full of faith again.
Eventually, I began to notice a theme — when the people of God were obedient to His commandments, He was pleased and they were blessed. And when they weren’t… well there were consequences. I remember thinking that the next time I read the law… I would have to obey it.
One of my thoughts was, “Can I?”. Not can I keep it perfectly, but am I even allowed to try? Something felt wrong about it, like if I try to keep the commandments, am I giving up my faith in Jesus? But, the longer I prayed about it the more peace I was given. I had spent most of faith life striving to live in a Godly way, but honestly at times it felt like I was making it up. And if I wasn’t making it up, I was just following someone else’s made up faith protocol. This never felt right either. So, what would be the harm in trying — to the best of my ability— not for salvation, but for righteous living — to keep the commandments?
In the fall of 2024 I transitioned out of the Christian church and into a small, Torah-Observant fellowship. I began studying the Torah week by week, doing my best to implement the principals and keep the commands and. I have never been more blessed.
Christmas
Christmas was always my favorite holiday. It was the time of year where I could finally get all the things that my heart desired, every material request was mine, and I dreamt of the day all year long. As I grew in the faith though, I began to feel conviction. I noticed my selfish and materialistic tendencies. At the same time, once I started working and earning money, I felt the financial weight of the holiday. Gifts mean a lot to me, and I wanted to be the family member who went above and beyond to make everyone feel special. I didn’t, and still don’t, make a ton of money. Yet I felt pressure to get everyone gifts, and even smaller gifts add up in a big family like mine. Year after year I would get deeper and deeper into debt and the shame and anxiety grew and grew. I wanted to quit Christmas BEFORE I learned the things I know now, and to me that is a testimony of Abba’s goodness. Even before I had the insight and Scriptural knowledge, he was letting me experience the damaging effects of the holiday.
Easter
The last time I celebrated Easter was in 2024. Mind you, I was already keeping Yah’s Sabbath (Friday eve to Saturday eve), I had some inkling about the Biblical festivals, and I was like 95% sure I wasn’t gong to celebrate Christmas anymore. That day my mom, grandma, and I attended a new church for the first time. The service was good and was not super easter-y. During the sermon the pastor mentioned that Yeshua was crucified on the 14th of Nissan — aka PASSOVER. It that moment, a bunch of things clicked into place. IF Yeshua was crucified on Passover, then HE’S the Passover Lamb, and we should KEEP the Passover as a memorial to our Messiah! Later that day I prepared my last Easter ham and while we ate I began googling on my phone about the origins of Easter. I won’t write about that here, but I encourage you to go look.
My First Passover
In 2024, Passover came just a couple weeks after Easter. I didn’t know where to begin or what to do, so I took the day off from work and spent time in prayer and research. I spent the day learning about Passover and resolved to keep in from then on.
Eating Biblically Clean
When I left my Christian church, I did so, so that I could keep the Biblical Feasts with other like-minded believers. I was not in the mind of eating Biblically clean (according to Leviticus 11). I actually came in with some pretty strong opinions about it. For example, I thought that it was unnecessary and could actually hinder the spread of the Gospel to require people to eat clean. And I even had Scriptures to back up my opinions! But, as I continued to study Torah with an open heart, my mind began to change.
Physically, here’s what my path look like: I ate unclean, then I stopped cooking unclean, but would eat it if it was given to me or if we went out to eat, and then eventually I stopped cooking and eating unclean. Spiritually, I started with strong opinions, but I respected those around me and would not argue about it. Then I started to see the value of eating clean through the scientific research about eating pork and other unclean animals. Then I began to realize that Abba has called us to be a people that are distinct from the rest of the peoples, and the two biggest ways to do that are by eating clean and worshipping on His Sabbath. The last time I intentionally ate unclean was on my 30th birthday, March of 2025. That next Shabbat, I finally submitted and turned to Abba. Once again, I have been very blessed by this decision.
Conclusion
As you can tell, there are many paths of thought or “strings” that the Father took me on, and they all led me to one place: The Torah is for believers in Yeshua today. Not for salvation but for instruction in righteous living.
If any of my story has resonated with you, I highly encourage you to SEEK the Father and SEARCH the Scriptures. Consider these sayings from our Messiah:
“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15 TLV)
“Do not think that I came to abolish the Torah or the Prophets! I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill. Amen, I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or serif shall ever pass away from the Torah until all things come to pass. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever keeps and teaches them, this one shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:17-19 TLV).
